Folding laundry, or playing with her other kids is fine too..
If she says no, go get her some water.
Know that:
- She’s really busy adjusting to her new role as mother (of 1, 2, 3, or 4 etc. children)
- She’s figuring out how her baby feels constantly..(hungry, tired, cold, scared, comfortable, curious)
- Her hormones are wacking out..she doesn’t feel like ‘herself’.
- She needs help and doesn’t want to ask you (or yell at you, or cry while she’s talking)
Her boobs are taking up alot of space. (in her mind, in her baby’s mind, in her partner’s mind, in the bed, in her bra)…maybe ask, “how are the ‘girls’?”
Can you offer breastfeeding help? Get someone who can, if she needs this…
She’ll need some time to touch her ‘new’ belly, perineum, vulva, alone…and unhurried. It’s all painfully new and strange.
Let her know, while feeding baby, and doing a few pelvic squeezes, (even if they are weak,) will help speed up the healing process of her perineal chakra..which holds her chi…lifeforce.
This squeezing movement gives a sense of power back to her, that can ease her sense of any trauma that she may have endured..(This is true for all women, mothers or not, BTW) Maybe do some kegals with her and giggle over your “Kegel Faces”. Remind her that deeper pelvic squeezes will come with time, as she can trust in the process of taking this area of her body back (from the birth process) through this regular practice.
Ask her if she needs a nap..or a shower..
You could tell her to check out the 5 Elements of the Mama Goddess free report…Send her here: www.mamagoddessexperience.com
It’s self care for pregnant and postpartum women…BTW when I say post partum, I mean you’re post-partum all the way until you stop calling your child ‘the baby’.
You are such a good friend, Goddess…